Modern Guru: What season are we really greeting at Christmas?

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Modern Guru: What season are we really greeting at Christmas?

By Danny Katz

Q: People skirt around the real reason for Christmas and send cards with "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays". So which season are we greeting? J.S., SYLVANIA, NSW

A: You're right about the cards. Walk into any newsagency at this time of year and you'll see "Season's Greetings" cards for the PC crowd; "Happy Holidays" cards for the atheists; "Bodhi Day" cards for the Buddhists; "It's a Festivus Miracle!" cards for the devout orthodox Seinfeldians. And if you look very hard, you might spot a Christmas card with Santa on the front. Oh wait, nope, it's a Chanukah card and that's a rabbi in red pyjamas.

Illustration by Simon Letch.

Illustration by Simon Letch.

But if this country aspires to be culturally diverse and socially inclusive, there needs to be cards to suit everyone, and "Season's Greetings" is a good way to wish someone a generic, non-specific, non-committed, non-Christmas and a Happy New Year. No need to get annoyed: in fact, Christmas fans like yourself should embrace this new, all-inclusive world and upgrade your own celebrations.

Beloved characters could use some gender flipping: why not a female Santa, a Little Drummer Girl, and Frosty the Androgynous Non-Cisgendered Snow-Individual? The traditional nativity scene could also use a reboot, with Jesus asleep in a Choice-approved portacot that meets mandatory Australian safety standards, Joseph riding a clean-energy, hybrid eco-donkey, and the Three Wise Women of the Magi bearing gifts of Oxfam stationery, UNHCR donations and East Timor fair-trade coffee.

And everyone's favourite Christmas song could use a tiny bit of tinkering: "I'm dreaming of a non-white, ideologically neutral, multiculturally secular Christmas … just like the one we used to knowwwww…"

guru@fairfaxmedia.com.au

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