This was published 5 years ago
Modern Guru: What season are we really greeting at Christmas?
By Danny Katz
Q: People skirt around the real reason for Christmas and send cards with "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays". So which season are we greeting? J.S., SYLVANIA, NSW
A: You're right about the cards. Walk into any newsagency at this time of year and you'll see "Season's Greetings" cards for the PC crowd; "Happy Holidays" cards for the atheists; "Bodhi Day" cards for the Buddhists; "It's a Festivus Miracle!" cards for the devout orthodox Seinfeldians. And if you look very hard, you might spot a Christmas card with Santa on the front. Oh wait, nope, it's a Chanukah card and that's a rabbi in red pyjamas.
But if this country aspires to be culturally diverse and socially inclusive, there needs to be cards to suit everyone, and "Season's Greetings" is a good way to wish someone a generic, non-specific, non-committed, non-Christmas and a Happy New Year. No need to get annoyed: in fact, Christmas fans like yourself should embrace this new, all-inclusive world and upgrade your own celebrations.
Beloved characters could use some gender flipping: why not a female Santa, a Little Drummer Girl, and Frosty the Androgynous Non-Cisgendered Snow-Individual? The traditional nativity scene could also use a reboot, with Jesus asleep in a Choice-approved portacot that meets mandatory Australian safety standards, Joseph riding a clean-energy, hybrid eco-donkey, and the Three Wise Women of the Magi bearing gifts of Oxfam stationery, UNHCR donations and East Timor fair-trade coffee.
And everyone's favourite Christmas song could use a tiny bit of tinkering: "I'm dreaming of a non-white, ideologically neutral, multiculturally secular Christmas … just like the one we used to knowwwww…"